looming
2003-12-18, 7:59 a.m.

2 more days till Christmas break. I only have to teach six more blocks, and really, two of those, I have a speaker coming, so I won't have to do much. My seniors' research papers are due today, so I'm expecting a fair amount of excuses and absences. There is a lady from the Art Institute coming to talk about professionalism and other things, I'm not sure what. My sophomores are reading Lord of the Flies, so I'll just give them reading time.

I am proud; last night I ran 2 1/1 miles and walked 1 more. Not as far as I used to go, but I am fat now. Then I had a baked potato with ICBINB spray and ff sour cream, read some of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance," and went to bed. I dug this book out after 3 years... John gave it to me for my 21st birthday. Inside he wrote, "I hope someday you're the famous author. Love, John," which made me cry last night. When I originally got it, I was bored within the first few chapters, but I read about 5 chapters last night and was not totally put to sleep. There are some neat ideas, but some of them I really struggle to grasp, since they're all related to... motorcycle maintenance.

John didn't call last night. I was really tired, so around 9:15, I turned the ringer off my cell phone. I woke up at midnight and checked, and he hadn't called. Which irks me because he didn't answer my e-mail yesterday. Long distance relationships suck.

I saw Pat yesterday. He was the one I was seeing when John and I were broken up. I really like him. He is my age, teaches carpentry for the high school and community college, has a 1.5 year old son and psycho ex-girlfriend, and is really, really cute. He's pretty nice, too, like he would do things like bring me ice cream and tell me he didn't deserve me. Which he really didn't, because he worked about 90 hours a week and would just fall asleep when he was supposed to call me. It's just as well that I didn't get too involved with him-too much baggage. I think he might be getting back together with the psycho now. Anyway, he was just coming by to pick up his mail, and he came and wandered by me in this shy way that he does, smiled at me, and talked to the person I was standing next to, and then wandered off. He is so cute!

Tonight I am supposed to go the "Thursday Therapy," which is a bunch of lady friends that get together and drink wine and talk for a bit, but I really need to clean my apartment and get stuff together for tonight. I ended up taking my trash out last night, just because the place stank so bad, but I still need to do dishes, do something with all of the bottles and cans, load my laundry up in my car, and... um.. that's about it. I should also come back to school and run a bit today.

OK, goal for the day is to avoid all of the holiday food. The kids are having their Christmas parties, so that means nachos, cookies, candy, etc. I will remain vigilant! So far I've had a breakfast cookie (270 calories), and my plan for lunch is yogurt, a healthy choice soup, and an apple. That will bring me to... 695 calories, which should hold me till dinner. For dinner I will have a baked potato again. I will conquer this flab that has overtaken my body!

A memory from last year: After student teaching one day, a friend of mine (a great big bear of a guy) and I went to dinner and drinks at Toad's in Cedar Falls. We proceeded to spend hours and hours there, finishing about 7 pitchers of beer (people drifted in and out of our company during that time). I also helped consume several appetizers and had a full meal of a cheeseburger and fries. My friend looked at my small, fit body and said, "Where do you put it all?!?!?!" Well, let's just say, in the year since then, I have discovered where I put it all. In my belly, my thighs, my butt, my breasts, my upper arms, EVERYWHERE. I need to lose 30 pounds, the amount I gained in the last year. That is my goal.

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