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2004-05-14, 7:42 a.m.

Well, wouldn't you know? 2 glasses of wine and 2 beers last night and I'm down to 156 today. I didn't work out yesterday. Let's see if I can maintain this by keeping up with the diet and working out loads this weekend.

Bad, bad mood. Last night had a fight with the bf and he asked if I wanted to break up, if we were just dragging this relationship on... I bawled. He said that usually I was the one to bring it up, and I said, "Yeah, but then I'm only testing the waters." And he said never mind, he wanted to see me this weekend, so I guess I am still driving to CR after school today. It will be weird, though, because he is in the process of moving and I don't know where we will stay. Maybe with his mom. I just don't know what to do. I want him to be in this relationship, but you can't make someone feel differently than they do. I'd better stop, or I'm going to start crying again. Not good at school.

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